The A10 has made another bold move to secure its standing as one of the premier athletic conferences in college basketball, adding Bellarmine University to be the conference’s 16th full time member, beginning in the 2022-2023 school year.
“Bellarmine University is a perfect new addition to the Atlantic 10 Conference,” said A10 Commissioner Bernadette McGlade. “They have a strong academic tradition, a strong athletic tradition, and the fact they aren’t eligible for the NCAA Tournament yet makes them an ideal school to win the A10 tournament and not steal a bid from one of our other non-deserving teams.”
“I LOVE it!” said an unidentified A10 Twitter sicko.
The addition of Bellarmine helps the A10 expand its reach down south and enter the Louisville media market. McGlade said the A10 has its best and brightest minds finding ways to incorporate footage of Muhammad Ali and Louisville Slugger into its marketing. However, McGlade said they are not attempting to poach Papa John, despite the fact he has been shunned by Louisville.
“Frankly, he’s terrifying, and I think he sweats garlic sauce,” said McGlade.
Bellarmine plays its home games at Freedom Hall in Louisville, which is one of the more iconic college basketball arenas in the country. “It rivals that of our current iconic arena such as Tom Gola Arena and Rose Hill Gym”, McGlade said. “We are thrilled to add another mediocre facility to our conference.”
Bellarmine is also joining the conference under one condition from the Atlantic 10 office, and that is to change their mascot from the Knights to the Rams. “One of our top priorities as a conference is gaining more schools with Rams as their mascot,” said McGlade. “Showcasing schools with more Ram mascots is the ideal situation for us getting back to being a multi-bid league for years to come.”
The other thing this addition affects is scheduling. “By adding a 16th team, the A10 can now achieve its other goal of scheduling a home and home for each team.” This would make it a 30 game conference schedule for the entire conference, eliminating the non-conference schedules for each team altogether. “Just trying to give these sickos what they want, and that’s more A10 games baby!” exclaimed McGlade.
Saint Louis, Saint Joseph’s, Fordham and Loyola Chicago all voted for Bellarmine under the impression that it was a Jesuit school and were baffled to discover that Bellarmine is not Jesuit, despite being named after Jesuit saint St. Robert Bellarmine. Upon discovering this, the Jesuit Bloc attempted to change their vote, but were unable due to the A10’s “no takesie-backsies” bylaw.
When asked for what she thought the biggest thing Bellarmine would add to the A10, McGlade said, “We expect them to make the NCAA tournament for years to come.”
She was also heard on a hot mic after the press conference saying, “Zero-bid league suckaz!!”
