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Bonafide

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Hawaiian Numbah!

Bevel8r!
 
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Bonafide

Active member
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
144
Likes
241
Came here for a Cadillac yarn…
Now that Cadillac is mentioned I'm again recalling this, uh, minority and I'm back up in Quang-fucking-Tri the geography of which it is like 20 miles from the DMZ and the entire North Vietnamese army. So I'm roosting in Quang-fucking-Tri with the 1st brigade/5 Mechanized ID and there's this spade called Cadillac who's in the squad. Now the thing is that in the army back then in the Nam everybody had a nickname..so much so that most folks never got to know a dude's real first name. Now the other thing is that all the grunts in the army in the 'Nam were either spades, Puerto Ricans or Mexicans and had like 6th grade educations. Except for me. So go figure that shit out. I mean I been tryin' to for decades. That draft shit just wasn't right. Anyway, Cadillac got his nickname 'cause he was from Detroit where he worked as a janitor cleaning shithouses in the GM Cadillac plant. Actually Cadillac was originally from Kosciuszko, Mississippi which is this small completely total shithole kinda like Quang-fucking-Tri was. Except that Cadillac kept calling Kosciuszko...Kosko. Now how the fuck could anyone get Kosko from Kosciuszko? But Cadillac swore it was true. Another thing was that everybody had all these slogans and shit written all over their helmets and uniforms. The most popular slogan was FTA (Fuck The Army) but anything else was perfectly OK. I saw stuff like CUNTDOG, MICKEY'S MOUSE, FUCK YOU, 'NAM SUCKS, etc. etc.. Cadillac had "TIME ON MY SIDE" written on his helmet then the names of the months he had left until DEROS (getting the fuck out of Vietnam). It was actually kind of sad 'cause Cadillac couldn't spell worth a shit and he spelled months like December......DESAMBLR and January.....JINALALRY. Like I said....fucking sad. He did ok with May though.

So Cadillac and I are in mechanized infantry which meant that we rode around in armored personnel carriers (tracks) and tanks and shit like that and then we would get out of them (dismounted infantry) and look to mix it up with Charles. Cadillac had this pistol, a .38 caliber Smith & Wesson Combat Masterpiece, that he loved and used used to spend hours cleaning and polishing and playing fast-draw and constantly talking about "my muvafuckin' Combat Masterpiece." But what Cadillac really loved was C a n a d i a n Club whiskey and gook pussy."Gotsta habs mees coupla ubs CCs and somes muvafuckin' dink trim," was my man's eloquent invitation to accompany him in sashaying about the countryside in search of same. But fuck. Like I said, you gotta understand that Quang Tri was like only 20 miles from the DMZ….. and the ENTIRE NORTH VIETNAMESE GODDAM ARMY. Cadillac and me lurking about up near the DMZ looking for pussy would probably be today’s equivalent of taking a Humvee out on the town in Baghdad some dark night looking for tail. But…… shit…. pussy is pussy…. “gotsta habs it”…as my man would fondly relate. Anyway, the other two items that Cadillac really loved were KOOL menthol cigarettes and Miller High Life beer. “Gibs me boxa KOOL and sums movafuckin’ Millers Highs Lipes” I recall Cadillac politely requesting countless times in scores of different venues.

Anyway, so that’s a little about Cadillac. Dumb spade made it through the NAM and ended up back in Kosko where he croaked from Agent Orange related brain cancer. Motherfucking shame is all I can say.

Pissah!

Aloha!
.
 
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